Trial at the new school.

I took Cyclone to the new school for a 'trial run'. Well actually, it was just to give him a look around and for them to observe him a little.

It went ok, but he was determined he wasn't going to like it. There were only 6 kids in the class. Cyclone doesn't like walking into a room full of people. I didn't much either when I was little - of course he doesn't like it more-er.

He liked the room and the play equipment, he sat at the back for the story and called out a few silly things here and there but he shooshed when I told him to. He joined in well later.

Then he decided he needed to bolt. He wasn't ready to speak in front of everyone yet so he ran out the front door. I was a little shocked that the door was open because you have to buzz to get in (security - it's just a small place). I talked him back in and we stayed a little longer.

I spoke to the principal later in the week to see when he would be starting and she tells me they cannot accomodate him for the next term after all. What the hell? Last week she thought he would do fine there and was a great candidate.

She tells me the fact he ran out of the building was the main concern. They are on a main road after all... WTF? For one I can't believe the front door doesn't lock in the FIRST place. If they cater for children having trouble adjusting to school and many of them on the spectrum - aren't they used to them bolting every now and again?? It's a fucking Aspy/Autistic trait. When they overload they get away from the source.

In kindergartens and childcare centres all over the country they have the simple precaution of HIGH DOOR HANDLES. Yes this is a school but the kids attending this school don't have the emotional capacity to handle overload sometimes.

I cannot believe how angry I am. My son really needs this place. WTF am I going to do with him at home for an entire term?? The principal asks me to hold him over at the old school for another term. WTF? They have him in a holding pattern there (bless them) so it's basically costing me a fortune in part time babysitting.

I call several of the Autism Advisory services and they are a little shocked at where we are right now. He can't just enrol at another school for one term, to be moved to another then off to ANOTHER school in a year. In fact one person told me it would be criminal to do that to him. I agree. No one has any answers but alot of support and sympathy - but I could do with some so that's OK.

Holy fuck - he isn't a little criminal, he isn't taking knives to school or starting fires - he is just stressed and anxious, poor poor little fellow.


So I decide to homeschool. There isn't much choice and when I tell Principal of new school she is totally unimpressed and tells me it just won't do and he won't be ready to go back to a classroom after being in the comfort of his own home for so long.

Through gritted teeth I ask her what her answer to the situation is - she has nothing. This woman is really starting to give me the shits. I feel so berated after every phone call.

So what happens now?

The last post was written nearly 2 months ago. It's been a freight train since then.

I called the potential new school and spent quite a long time talking about Cyclone - they liaised with the principal of his school and feel that he would do very well there. They only have about 20 students and have alot of them are Spectrum kids . I am hopeful for awhile. They have a brilliant record of success, the children go for a year, then are transferred into a mainstream school after that.

There are 3 weeks until the end of term so I ask that he continues till then. The school arranges him to go to the classes he feels happiest in and keeps up the good work they have already done. Each day he chooses a different classmate to work with one on one. This way the kids get to know him a little more and learn he really is just like them........underneath the anxiety and rage.

It's now only half days, 3 times a week and the driving is killing me. 30 mins there and back for him to be there 3 hours. I'm exhausted.


We move house and it's not too bad. It's not far, the kids are used to the house. We are all more sad than anything. Cyclone keeps asking why we had to move and in exasperation I tell him someone is going to pay mummy lots of money to live in our house. His latest obsession is money and he seems rather satisfied by that...

I know he is a slow-release Apsy, I won't see immediate effects of the move until a few weeks later.

Oh btw - we have a firm diagnosis of Aspergers right in the middle of all this..

The Axe Falls

I got a call from the school today, asking that I come to discuss "Cyclones future with the school". Shit. Fuck.

I try to tell myself they want to get together to discuss a plan to accommodate his stresses. I have the whole weekend to try not to freak out. Fail.

So we have the meeting and I'm told the school feels they can't cater to Cyclones needs. He is running out of the classroom, alot of the time he slips off and freaks everyone out when they realise he is gone. I didn't know this and I wish I had because nicking off is a big Aspie thing. They run when they overload. If I had known maybe I would have started making other plans for him.

I knew he once ran into the building site and scared all the builders half to death. I knew he sometimes refused to return to the classroom after recess and lunch, but we were working on that and he was getting HEAPS better.

I knew he was lashing out at some of the other kids, this worries me terribly and he had NEVER done that before school started.

They tell me they love him, that they can see HIM underneath all the anxiety and sometimes he just surprises them right out of left field. Like the fact that he refuses to participate in class discussion - won't even sit with the others, but when it's his turn to 'chair the meeting' he does it with such style and confidence its a joy to watch.

But he isn't adjusting, he is getting more stressed as the year goes on. He did shorter hours for the entire first term, but wanted to stay all day with the other children. He worked really hard to keep his temper and come in as soon as lunch was over so he went to full days. Then he went backwards again.

I'm crying and angry at the meeting - we have only just got the Aspy diagnosis, I was constantly liaising with his teacher, I kept her constantly updated (and she was just wonderful when it came to strategies for him)......I know there are other kids on the spectrum there, why is Cyclone having to go?

Because he is getting worse, it's becoming too much for the teachers to search for him and talk him down out of the trees (literally) and because he has gone all stealth-like when it comes to running off they are frightened he will leave the school grounds.

The other spectrum kids will (apparently) calm down. Cyclone won't and he is upping the ante. They aren't equipped and funding is so much harder to get because they are a non-government school. The kids are unsure of him, he can play just fine but then he explodes. He goes through so many different emotions in minutes, school is tiring for him because he has to work so much harder to keep himself in check. There are other places that can cater for him and they feel he would be best there.

I'm devastated. I loved this school. I chose it because it's not mainstream, the ethos of the school is brilliant and it's run by the students and parents. The have ponies and geese, chickens and goats and the kids are nearly wholly responsible for the animals welfare. I could go on but I won't because it's going to make me sadder.

I've put one child through mainstream schooling and I just didn't like it. Now the best school in the world doesn't suit Cyclone. Or the other way around.

But, the Principal did some research and found somewhere else she thinks would be the right place. She has already called to check it out for me, they cater nearly wholly for spectrum kids and has a fantastic reputation.

She gives me the number. We shall see.

I just don't know how I feel about this.

Cyclone goes to school

The local school is in the next street and the principal came to the kinder for a presentation. I was all set to enrol Cyclone there until that meeting. For some reason I didn't like her. At all. She was shrill, she was very offhand but ranted for awhile about how all the preps are writing at a Grade 2 level. Nothing about the students, nothing about the school community - nothing about kids that have no interest in writing at Grade 2 level, nothing about individuality, nothing about the love of teaching a child - oh I don't know what I wanted from this woman but my blood ran cold by the end of it and I walked out thinking "you're not teaching my kid".

It's halfway through the year and I'm not melting down at the thought of Cyclone going to school. A friend on the Belly Belly forum points me in the direction of an independent school I never knew existed. I jump for joy at the style of education, breathe a sigh of relief and wonder how the hell I will afford it. I realise I don't care about the cost and sign him up immediately.

It's been awhile between posts, so much is going on around here and I have to catch up to the present. I've done a big cheat and pasted another post from my other blog...



Yep, it's time and he is really looking forward to it. Let me introduce you to one of Cyclones fellow students



This is the view from the gazebo where the children wait to be picked up at the end of the day



I know it seems silly driving him 20mins away when there is a perfectly good school 2 streets away. But...not really. Have a look at those pics - I know where I would rather be each day.
At this school, the students take responsibility for the care of the animals. The younger students collect the eggs and put the chooks (heaps of them and all different kinds) away at the end of the day.
The older kids place the horses along the driveway in the morning to mow the grass and put away the bigger animals at night.
The preps sell the eggs at the school market, record sales etc - that's one of the ways they learn maths.

I also love that according to the school handbook - "It is the responsibility of the first year students to locate every puddle in winter".

So my sensory Cyclone wont be considered a problem child if he can't sit still and needs to roll around in the grass during class. If he gets overwhelmed his teacher will see it and send him out to round up the geese or count eggs.
They go on impromptu excursions if the class discussions lead them on a mission, riding lessons in the sports program and the 2nd language is Auslan because the students got bored of Indonesian and voted for it themselves.

Yaaaaaaaaay! Oh and the school is also in the top 10% for science/maths.

BRING IT ON - we are all so excited!

Things are still not right

Halfway through the Kinder year, things start to crack again. I'm a member of a brilliant Parenting forum called BellyBelly and there is a section for Aspy/Austism/Sensory matters. I've been lurking in there for awhile. I go to post a question but then Cyclone seems to settle down so I don't bother.

After awhile I take the plunge - here is the post.




Oh Jeez, having a crapola day today. He just doesn't LET UP.

I still can't work out if Cyclone just has a hair trigger temper combined with general (extreme) naughtiness or if it's something more.

Last playdate, dp picked him up and the mum was just saying how wonderfully behaved they both were when Cyclone noticed dp there and just went POSTAL. Screaming abuse and hitting, running off and declaring dp an a hole....

He never, ever stops talking. If something doesn't go his way it's DEF CON 10, freakin screaming, hitting, threatening blah blah.
dp hates taking him to the shops cos he is such an embarrassment, but I find I can handle it because I handle him really calmly, but it's very tiring having to assess every potential 'hazard' so I can jump in and walk/distract him through it.
He has always been pretty good for both grandparents, but still has meltdowns here and there. They both keep him pretty busy though.

He has some quirks - we all MUST watch the very beginning of The Simpsons every time it comes on (DAMN you Foxtel). If we are all not present in the room and watching DEF CON 10. Before then we all had to watch the end of Sesame Street to see the train coming through the tunnel. He really hates the strangest things - Sesame Street, Yo Gabba Gabba and Pinky Doo - GET IT OFF, GET IT OFF!!!!! Meltdown.

I hate it when people in the street catch his eye or makes a comment. He takes it as negative if people smile at him and often yells at them. I have to reassure him no one is laughing at him.

And he won't leave his poor bloody sister alone. He seems hell bent on upsetting her, hurting her and tormenting her. I can't leave them alone together. Sometimes they play beautifully. I suppose that's because Beth just does what he tells her to do.

Today - he mashed flypaper in her hair

It's really hard to keep your cool, allll daaaay looong

I dunno, I go from thinking I am really on his level, to worrying that I'm not providing the right environment for him dammit.


So I threw it out there. The responses I got pushed me to seek a little harder into what was going on. You can click the BellyBelly link to read for yourself.

Cyclone at Kindergarten

I'm looking forward to Cyclone starting Kindergarten. In Victoria, children go to Kinder when they are 4 years old, to socialise, fingerpaint and get ready for school. The first year of school is called Prep. Kindergarten is 10 hours a week divided into 3 sessions across the week. 2 morning sessions and 1 afternoon.

The Kindergarten is across the road and 4 houses up from our house so I'm looking forward to walking him there with his Ben 10 backpack. He is itching to go.

He does brilliantly. He joins in, listens well, participates in discussions without interrupting and the teachers just love the information he has to offer. They talk about planets and the teacher sends homework for him to continue because his knowledge is far past the kinder discussions. Well it's not really homework but the teacher must have her own love of the subject and sends her favorite websites home for him to follow up.

I breathe a sigh of relief. He'll be ok, maybe he was just understimulated. The other boys enjoy building with him, he has fabulous ideas and more to work with in the block department.


He makes friends, he blends well. All is good at Kinder.